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Friday, 24 April 2015

"She is the only woman I've ever loved" husband of overweight woman explains why he didn't want her to loose weight

Before her surgery Bettie Jo was reliant on husband Josh to tend her every need
A 47 stone (660lb (ie about 300Kilograms)) woman who was so immobile she needed her husband's help to go to the toilet has revealed how he prevented her from losing weight.
Despite being morbidly obese, Bettie Jo, from Houston, Texas, lived off a diet of fried chicken and barbecue sauce, and was unable to care for herself, meaning Josh had to do everything for her.
But Josh has admitted he didn't support the 24-year-old with her bid to lose weight because he feared if she became slimmer, she wouldn't need him anymore. They revealed this in TLC show last night.
Bettie Jo, who now weighs 35st 8lbs (500lbs (227kg)) thanks to surgery, reveals on the show that Josh had become her 'caretaker' - helping her go to the toilet and into the shower, and putting powder between her rolls of flesh afterwards to stop her skin from chafing. 
She said that the pair's relationship had become 'slim to none'.

Bettie Jo and Josh shopping after her weight loss: She now buys lots of protein and checks labels for calories

She added: 'Being that size was miserable. I was always in pain. My weight was killing me. I couldn't do anything on my own.
'My husband Josh had to help me take a shower and wipe my butt. It was humiliating. He had to be the caretaker.
'My marriage with Josh was really difficult too because my weight prevented me having a real marriage. Josh had to be my caretaker.'
'Our intimacy was slim to none. We’d been together for so long sometimes I thought, "Am I with you because I love you or because you're the one person who looks after me."'
'I hated myself. I hated my life. I was so tired of being that way.'
But despite the deadly weight, Bettie Jo was living on a diet of fried chicken and barbecue sauce.
'I knew my body was getting to its limits. When I was five I started to become a chunky kid but I just got on with it,' she said.
'But when I was 13 my life totally changed. I was sexually assaulted.
'I'd always been happy go lucky but after that I didn’t like myself. I was angry and depressed and started eating more.
'I thought that if I was bigger I could protect myself. I met Josh right after I turned 17. I was 400lbs by then and could hardly walk.
'I hated myself, I hated everything so I tried to kill myself and then I got put into hospital.'
Although Bettie Jo lived through her suicide attempt, seven years later at the age of  24, she felt life was slipping through her fingers.
'I was hardly existing. I never went out. Going out is not so easy when you're over 600lbs.
Bettie Jo used to love pizza and anything containing potato - chips, crisps and mashed potato 
'I wanted to have some freedom again and I knew my weight was keeping me from that.
'I hated going out in public all the time because I couldn't stand peoples reactions. I felt judged, that people were saying: “Look at that fat girl”.'
'But I knew it was something I'd done to myself through what I ate. I was raised with country home cooking and I loved fried, mash potatoes, crisps I just love food.'
But husband Josh now admits he did not help Bettie Jo's weight loss. 'I thought if she lost weight she wouldn't need me anymore.I didn't want her dropping weight and leaving me.'
But Bettie Jo was determined to make a change.
'I didn’t want to waste my life just sitting in a chair. I wanted to have a career, have a baby. I wanted to grow old.
'I knew if I didn’t change I was going to die. When pain has destroyed your life it can take something just as painful to restore it.'
Desperate for a solution, Bettie Jo and Josh went to a Houston bariatric surgeon.
‘Every other surgeon had turned me away so I didn't want to get my hopes up.'
At 5ft 2in Bettie Jo's ideal weight is 8st 8lbs (120lbs) but her doctor predicted that at almost 47 stone (660lb) she was unlikely to get to 30.
He set Bettie Jo the task of losing two stone (28lbs) to demonstrate she was capable of losing weight before he could agree to surgery.
He also raised concerns about Josh's role as the feeder in their relationship, which he said would have to change.

At 47 stone (660lb) Bettie Jo was housebound and unable to tend to her own needs

'I needed Josh to help me, says Bettie Jo. 'I knew if we didn’t do it as a team I’m wouldn't make it. I didn’t want to die young.'
Bettie Jo and Josh moved to Houston to be closer to the doctor and set about a weight-loss mission.
'I had to break a lot of old habits,' she said. 'I ate smaller potions – a lot smaller than before. They didn't fill me up but I hoped once I had surgery I wouldn't have the hunger pains.
'Josh was a big help – he was careful about the food he bought.
'I also tried to exercise. The first time I managed to ab crunches I was pretty excited,' she says, even though she still had to them from a sitting position on the couch.  
But as Bettie Jo gained independence, Josh grappled with the change and worried he was becoming dispensable.  

'He wanted to be needed - that was his primary concern,' she said.
It took several months for Bettie Jo to drop the weight and be scheduled for surgery.
‘I couldn't believe someone was finally helping me and that I was going to get the surgery. I can’t wait to get my life back,' she said.
'The operation went well but my first night after surgery but Josh wasn’t there when I woke up. It made me a little scared because I needed him more than ever.
I knew if I didn’t have his support. I wouldn't be able to do this.
'The first month went but it wasn't as easy as I'd hoped. Josh was preparing my meals and didn't necessarily want to follow the doctor's instructions.
Five month after the surgery Bettie Jo had trouble breathing and was rushed to hospital.
'I felt like I was having a heartache. I kept blacking out. I'd never felt like that before,’ she said.
The doctor found she had not lost any weight since the surgery and warned her over-eating was affecting her lung function to the point that she was not too far from dying.
But it was the wake up call Bettie Jo and Josh needed. The doctor insisted they see a therapist to get the diet on track.
Josh admits: ‘I used to take care of her but when she started being able to move around herself after the surgery that really scared me because. I don’t want her to leave me. She’s the only woman I've ever loved.



Sourced from UK DailyMail

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